||Grand Theft Auto: London 1969 Vehicles
Evening, sir. Nice for this time of year, ain't it? Out a bit late ain't we? But at least you was polite, sir, and in this day and age that ain't usual. No sir, it don't sir! Filth, Old Bill, PC Plod, Tit Head, Pigs, Bacon, Rozzers, I've heard it all, sir. Heard it a thousand times, and no mistake. And it ain't funny, and it don't help nobody. These are perilous times, these are. Full of perils. London is over-run with criminals, and we can't control them Crisp Twins anymore than anyone else can. But we're startin' to make a bit of a difference. Stop a few of those bastard slags, if you'll excuse my French sir. 'Cause London these days, well it ain't like in my old man's day. Now it's all purple hearts and diet pills and guns, and it ain't no good. No good at all. Just look at the cars that were pinched just in the last couple of days. They'll give you a bit of insight into the criminal mind, and that's what you need.
The car that typifies everything I hate about this liberal age. It takes our fine flag in vain. I'd shoot the bastard ponces who drive 'em for treason, if I could. And no mistake. Very popular with noncey photographers and playboys and the like. Right load of rubbish. Like the ponces that drive it, it's all show. A lot of mouth and no effin' trousers. And that ain't British, is it?
The vehicle of choice of her majesty! The greatest woman on earth drives one of these, so you should too, if you've got the money, which ain't bleein' likely, since they put tak up to 96%, is it? So if I see one of these, and it ain't her majesty, then I pull it over. It's either so posh nob, or some scumbag on the bleedin' run. Easy.
A right flash motor, but at least it's English. Very popular with those secret agent types. Ponces. What's the good of fightin' the bleedin' Russians and lots of psychso if there ain't nothin' worth saving. And that's wht way it's headin', I tell you.
The trusty London taxi cab. A great car, this one, my brother Sid drives one, matter of fact, after he left the army. Don't see 'em south of the river so much, though, 'cause none of those cabbies like it down there or something. Increasingly popular with the criminal classes. Used in many a kidnap and quite a few robberies. The slags!
Used by those ponces in accident and emergency, bunch of right blouse wearers, them lot. But very good in an emergency, especially if you've just swatted a few flies getting stuck in the ointment. I think you know what i'm talking about, sir. I really do.
This one's ours. Our secret weapon, the best of the bunch. Best motor on the road, and no mistake. They can have all their souped up Italian rubbish but this baby will beat 'em every time. No bother pal, none at all.
Very popular out in Essex. This car is typical of the kind of no-good flashy harry we're trin' to stop taking over England Our England. Look, it ain't good and it, ain't English, and, what's more, it ain't stayin'.