Wednesday, June 4th, 2008
04
JUN
LCPD faces allegations of incompetance, brutality

Grand Theft Auto IV - General News | @ 09:55 PM CST | By Slim Trashman
Parody news website, The Onion, has put up a hilarious article regarding the citizens of Liberty City, whom are concerned the LCPD have not performed to their satisfaction to prevent "car chases, ongoing gun battles, and overall atmosphere of violence that pervade the area."
Many blame the LCPD directly for the increase in criminal activity, citing the department's lax procedure for arresting criminals, which involves taking 10 percent of the suspect's money, confiscating his weapons, and simply releasing him from custody later that day. Outraged citizens say this is not enough, especially in a city where assault rifles can be found on factory roofs and grenade caches are located under the globe at the old World's Fair site.

Perhaps even more alarming, city records indicate that more than 75 percent of perpetrators in mass-murder or vehicular-manslaughter cases escape, usually by simple methods such as driving into a car-repainting facility. Criminals have even eluded pursuit by walking into their apartment and going to bed for six hours, after which the search has been called off.

You can check out the whole story here.
Viewer Comments
rappo
Professional Dumbass


Registered: Aug 2003
Posts: 7,012
"And to those who say the LCPD is too quick to resort to deadly force, remember that almost 850,000 police officers, FIB agents, and N.O.O.S.E. [National Office of Security Enforcement] team members have died in the line of duty in the past month," he added.

hahah very nice, thanks for posting :P
06-04-2008 10:05 PM
alisdairmac
GTAComplete.com

Registered: Apr 2008
Posts: 12
850,000 officers! Only Niko Bellic could do such a thing...
06-05-2008 09:15 AM
Tendercrisp
Been making Mcconaughey jokes since long before...

Registered: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,446
I fucking love The Onion. I honestly think Rockstar should collaborate with them and have them write scripts for the talk radio stations that you can listen to in-game.

[ post edited 06-05-2008 11:51 AM by Tendercrisp ]
06-05-2008 11:44 AM
Twisted Metal
Texan Member

Registered: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,355
Thanks for the credit, Slimmeh ;). After all I did link you to it...
06-05-2008 12:13 PM
manlington266
Registered User

Registered: Apr 2008
Posts: 0
"I was buying a hot dog from a street vendor in Hove Beach yesterday when I saw someone run a red light, barrel down the sidewalk, careen into a garbage truck, exit his vehicle, steal a nearby convertible, and drive away," one Broker resident reported. "A nearby police car didn't even react. But when the car behind him nicked his fender, the officer shot the driver through the windshield and walked away."


Genius. Pure genius.
06-05-2008 07:18 PM
 

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