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The actual order in which you play the following missions is fairly open-ended. This mission list provides a mixed look at mission flow, meaning that once new mission bosses are unlocked, we usually encourage you go and do a mission or two for them!
The introduction to The Ballad of Gay Tony will start off in a very familiar scene for anybody who has played through the GTA IV storyline. The voices of the McRearys soon make you realize you're watching the Three Leaf Clover mission play out from Luis's perspective. The vigilante customer kills Saint Michael - same story!
After leaving the scene of the robbery, Luis takes a walk to Gay Tony's apartment - you will recognize a few faces along the way. Inside the two talk about financial issues when two Ancelotti goons, Vince and Rocco, show up armed and ready to steal some cash Tony owes.
Once the guidos leave and the cutscene is over, hop into Tony's Schafter and drive him to meet one of his bouncers Troy. There, Tony tells Troy that an important guest will be visiting the club that night. Afterwards drive Tony to the Maisonette 9, where he'll take care of some business while Luis "works the floor."
Tony will call you up after a while and tell you to help out Dessie the bouncer out front. Go outside and a cutscene will start, where we're introduced to two of Luis's old friends who aren't dressed properly to enter the club. Take the guys home to Northwood Heights and then get back to your apartment in North Holland to end the mission.
You'll immediately notice a new feature on completion of missions: statistics including time taken to complete mission, player damage, and car damage. When you finish the storyline you'll be able to revisit missions and try to beat your times.
Unlocks mission boss Tony Prince
On the dancefloor of the Maisonette 9, Luis watches Roman and Brucie trying to impress some women, laughs it off, and then heads upstairs to Tony's office. Tony is in the middle of a phonecall with someone named Mori, who he seems to owe some money.
Tony finishes up and heads outside with Luis and on the way out the two are stopped by Yusuf Amir. When the cutscene is done, drive Tony to Dragon Heart Plaza in Chinatown - he has somebody that Rocco wants him to speak with.
When you arrive, you'll watch a cutscene with Billy Grey from The Lost and Damned debating politics with the Chinese store owner. Luis and Tony enter, telling the owner that they can't give him a liquor license. He's becomes angry and pulls a gun out on Luis, who kicks it out of his hand and knocks him out.
Apparently the owner's goons heard you because they've lined up in true GTA fashion between you and the shop exit! Use the P90 that Tony gave you on the way over to make your way through. In the second room you'll find some armor and a shotgun to help you out. After picking off these men in the usual fashion, you'll run into a room where someone throws a grenade you. Just back up into the previous room and let it explode, then come back and shoot your way through. At the end of the hall you'll find five greandes, and down the next flight of stairs there will be some more body armor.
The stairwell leads you into another room with four guys shooting at you. Just wait for them to back off into the hallway then throw a grenade to take care of them all at once. Keep moving through the rooms until you reach the exit, then get into Tony's car and drive him back to his apartment. On the way, Luis will talk about how angry he is at Rocco for promising the license, but Tony still wants to keep things cool with the Ancelottis.
Unlocks Mom's House
Unlocks mission boss Yusuf Amir
At Ms. Lopez's house you'll find a loan shark named Mr. Santo haggling her for repayment of the money she borrowed. It's clear that he and Luis don't really get along... Since Ms. Lopez can't pay off the debt, Santo wants Luis to pay off the debt by doing some work. When the cut scene ends, Santo will ask you to take a walk with him.
Walk down the street with Santo, and he'll tell you that he wants you to rig a cage fight match that he'll bet on. He wants you to win the first two and lose the last one. Inside the arena, the game will teach you how the basic melee moves. Just fight against the opponents as you would someone on the street. Make use of your blocks and kicks to get minimal damage.
Unlocks cage fighting sidemissions
By his mom's house, Luis finds Armando and Henrique (his old friends introduced in the introduction mission) dealing drugs on the street corner. Luis scolds them for their work and reminds them of the consequences. They're not interested in hearing him out though, and instead they want Luis to accompany them on "something big" that they have going down. When the cutscene ends, hop in their car and drive over to East Hook.
After the first round of cops are all dead, Mando will place a satchel charge on the brick wall to blast your way through. By now you'll have a three star wanted level and the N.O.O.S.E. will greet you on the other side of the wall. Carefully kill all the N.O.O.S.E. officers in sight. Things seem calm until an Annihilator chopper swoops down and starts shooting. Luis will grab the RPG from the back of the Enforcer, all you have to do is shoot down the helicopter. When it's all clear, hop into a car and drive the two back to the projects.
Unlocks drug war sidemissions
Inside Yusuf's apartment, you'll get a real feel for his character. You'll quickly find that he's a lady's man and a big talker - essentially a combination of Roman and Brucie! After explaining his big plans for Liberty City, Yusuf gets to the point: he wants you to steal a military helicopter for his father.
Don't fly too far away because upon calling Yusuf, he tells Luis he wants the yacht destroyed. Head back and blow up the yacht - it'll take three rocket hits to make it sink like the Titanic. Steering the Buzzard may be a little, but try to get used to the controls at this point in the mission. The guys keeping the Buzzard turn out to be arms dealers, so they're well equipped... watch out for M4 fire and missiles!
Yusuf wants you to accompany him on a business meeting with Ahmed at Rotterdam Tower. Hop into Yusuf's Super Drop Diamond (a new car to the GTA IV series) and drive over. On the way, he'll equip you with an auto shotgun that has explosive shells.
Upon talking to Ahmed and his partner Tahir, it's clear that something is going on. Angered by the two snitches, Luis throws Tahir off the tower while Ahmed runs away. A bunch of N.O.O.S.E. officers show up on the top of the tower along with several Annihilator choppers. Take out the police one by one, and don't forget about your explosive shell shotgun for the helicopters!
When you find the ladder that Ahmed climbed up, jump onto it and follow him. You can take your time though because he has nowhere to go. Halfway up the tower there will be another Annihilator - cover is minimal so you'll have to take it down as quickly as possible. Once the chopper is out of the way continue up the ladder and meet Ahmed at the building's peak.
Unlocks base jumping activities
Unlocks parachutes and guns available from Armando
Inside his apartment, Tony keeps whining about how he screwed up but don't worry about that for now, it has nothing to do with the mission. Drive to the Golden Pier Golf Club to meet with Rocco.
Rocco needs to get some information from a "union prick" on the golf course. He wants you to hit golf balls at the man strapped to the front of his golf cart. When the cutscene is over simply move the white circle on the floor to where the man is located, press A to start the swing, and press A again when the black and white markers on the meter match up. You can miss the black marker by a little bit, but if you're way off then the shot won't hit him.
After you hit the man three times and Rocco gets some of the information he wants, his union friends show up in Cavalcades for a golf course drive-by. Help Rocco by taking out all of the guys on the putting green, marked on your radar. When the coast is clear jump down onto the green, steal a golf cart, and wait for Tony to get in. Make your way out of the club by following Rocco. More mobsters will show up to shoot at you - you can either try to perform drive-bys or just ignore them.
Unlocks mission boss Mori
Unlocks random person Arnaud
Unlocks club management jobs with Dessie
Inside Tony's apartment you find his on-and-off boyfriend Evan dancing around to some music. Luis finds Tony in the bedroom, knocked out on some pills Evan gave him. When Tony regains consciousness he explains that he needs to help out Rocco with his Union problem by blowing up some targets. Luis doesn't want Tony to do the job, so he punches him out cold and takes the bombs to do it himself.
Outside, hop into a car and drive to the construction site marked on your radar. Throw three sticky bombs onto the base of the crane in the center of the site then back away. Once you're out of harm's way, press down on the D-Pad and watch the fireworks display!
The last target is a jet plane taking off from Francis International Airport. Get off the train tracks as soon as possible and drive there quickly, since you're under a time constraint for this one. Drive out onto the tarmac and throw a couple bombs onto the plane then detonate the bombs before the jet takes off. You'll end up with a four star wanted level, but two of them are easily lost be fleeing the airport. Lose the other two stars to finish the mission.
Unlocks random person Margot
The starting location of Mori's mission will seem oddly familiar, and your first look at him will make you realize what's going on... Mori is Brucie's older brother! Brucie soon shows up at the apartment surprised to see Mori. After slinging some insults at his baby brother and continuing his ego trip, Mori takes Luis outside to get down to business.
Drive Mori to the docks in south Bohan. There, you'll meet up with some guys importing their "product." They know Mori, and they don't like him - they call him a rip-off merchant and refuse to do business with him. Mori decides to take the product by force, and a gunfight breaks out. After the cutscene pick off the enemies marked on your blip one by one. The guys on the floor are pretty easy to take out, it'll be like any typical gunfight. There's one tricky enemy located on a higher floor to the left, and he'll be shooting at you with an RPG.
When they're all dead run down to the actual dock and Luis will get into the Jetty. Drive the boat through the harbor and throw stick bombs at the three boats trying to flee. If you have a pistol handy, shoot them a little bit to slow them down, then pull up to the right of the boats, toss a sticky bomb, and detonate! When all three boats are destroyed, drive Mori back to the docks to end the mission.
Tony pulls up to Hercules with Gracie Ancelotti and asks Luis to get into the car. Drive the two of them to Gracie's house on Babbage Dr. in Alderney. On the way, Tony once again brings up The Celebinator, the celebrity gossip blogger who is badmouthing Tony and Luis on his website. Luis suggests they do something about and decides to contact The Celebinator.
After dropping off Tony and Gracie, drive over to the Internet Cafe near Gracie's house. Hop onto one of the computers and click The Celebinator's link on the eyeFind homepage. Feel free to read the articles on the homepage - when you're done, click Leave Comment on the offending article. Leave the Tw@t cafe to end the mission. Tony will call you later on in the game to finish the mission, for now feel free to complete other missions.
Unlocks second encounter with random person Margot
Yusuf is (once again) dancing around his apartment when you enter, this time without any pants on and with a hooker. He tells Luis that the Buzzard was nice, but he wants something bigger and badder - a N.O.O.S.E. APC tank! Soon Yusuf's father will show up, disgusted by the way his son is leaving. A few excuses later, Yusuf pushs Luis out the door.
Once outside, Yusuf will call you and tell you to meet him in Star Junction. Drive to the spot marked on your radar and soon enough Yusuf will show up in a helicopter, parking in the middle of the square. Hop into the Swift and take the controls - Yusuf tells you to drive to the APC which is being carried by a military helicopter off the Broker shore.
Inside her apartment, Ms. Lopez will be feeding Armando and Henrique some food. Luis goes inside and pulls his two friends out so they can get to business. The two want you to drive them to the pier in Bohan for a shipment coming from Humbolt.
At the pier, follow Henrique to the bottom of the pier to help with the shipment. Soon enough some guys show up to spoil the deal. There will be about 30 guys to kill in all, and they'll come in installments. Simply take them out like any other gunfight, keeping in mind what floor everyone is on (noting the triangle blips on the radar).
When they're all dead get into the Cavalcade and escort Armando in the other car carrying the shipment. Drive to their lockup garage in north Algonquin to end the mission.
Evan, Gracie, Rocco, and a girl named Sharon are doing lines of coke in Tony's apartment while Tony himself is once again knocked out. Luis will wake him up and pull him out of the house so they can do the vague job Rocco was talking about.
You'll act as limousine driver for now - take Evan to the docks in East Hook. On the way, Evan reveals that they're going to a diamond deal, and players of the previous GTA episodes will realize exactly what is about to happen! At the docks, the deal goes down, but Johnny and his fellow Lost brothers show up to steal the diamonds. Evan flees in the opposite direction of Tony and Luis.
After the cutscene you'll be in the passenger seat of the limousine, and it's your job to throw sticky bombs out the side and blow up anybody blocking your path. At first it will be mostly members of The Lost on motorcycles and in black cars. On street level there will be a police barricade to blow through, and afterwards an APC tank to take out. On the bridge to Algonquin you'll come across a few more Lost members and an Annihilator helicopter, all of which you need to blow up with sticky bombs.
Coming off the bridge, the limousine driver gets shot, so you have to take the wheel and lose the three star wanted level. When you shake the cops, drop Tony off at Hercules. On the way the two will hypothesize about Evan's whereabouts - they know he took the diamonds, but after checking his Bleeter status update they see that he was captured by The Lost gang members and they assume he's dead.
Unlocks random person Daisy
Some time after completing the first half of Blog This!, Tony will call you up to inform you that he's arranged a meeting with The Celebinator. The two are at the helipad in Westminster, so head over there and hop into the helicopter.
Fly the Swift above Happiness Island and get as high up as possible. The floating pink rings will guide you to the altitude you should be at. Along the way it'll be clear that The Celebinator is an annoying brat who probably won't let him on his commentary. Once you've reached a good height, Tony will take the controls while you need to "speak with" with The Celebinator.
Follow the game instructions to deal with The Celebinator - slap him and punch him around a little bit and then throw him out of the helicopter. Since Tony doesn't actually want him dead, Luis will jump out after him and it's your job to make sure he stays alive. Point the analog stick all the way up to dive faster, and be sure to move left and right to align yourself with him. When you get closer to him Luis will grab onto The Celebinator, so you just have to release the parachute and land safely. Once on the ground, the mission will end.
Unlocks second encounter with random person Arnaud
Mori and Luis go out of the apartment together, leaving Brucie crying after being beat at a game of chess. Mori wants you to drive to the heliport in Fishmarket South. On the way over there he'll make you a proposition: if you beat him in a race, you just have to do one more job for him and Tony's entire debt will be considered repaid. If you lose, however, you will have to work for Mori full-time! Luis decides to take the risk.
Inside the helicopter, the details of the race will be revealed - you're first going to dive out, grab a boat, then ride to a location where some cars are waiting, and race to Middle Park. The race will start when Luis jumps out of the helicopter.
A good skydive will buy you a lot of time in the race! Try to dive quickly and go as long as you can without deploying the parachute. When you're on the ground, run to the docks on your radar and grab a boat. From here the race will be much like other GTA IV races - just follow the checkpoints.
In Alderney, you'll be lead to a shoreline where you have to jump out of the boat and into one of the many cars parked on the dirt. Grab your favorite sports car and keep driving through the checkpoints. Unlike past GTA IV races, you'll actually get some nitrous this time! Use it carefully though, the speed boost will be a lot more than you'll expect so if you don't have adequate room in front of you the NOS may actually hurt you.
The driving portion is fairly short - make it to Middle Park first to win! Mori will make up some excuses for losing, of course...
Unlocks multivehicle races
Inside his baby brother's apartment, Mori is picking on Brucie again. He has one last job for you to do and this time he's bringing along Brucie. Outside, drive the two of them to a car park near Middle Park in Algonquin.
Once there, operate the lift to bring down a car for Brucie then yourself. Hop into the car and line up behind the Kibbutz brothers outside. Mori will be lead, and the two of you have to follow him to his storage location.
You'll get a three star wanted level after a little while, and Mori admits that he called the cops to spice things up! Simply follow behind Mori, avoiding police fire along the way. He'll be driving in some pretty strange places, mostly along walkways, but he goes slow so take your time and be careful not to fall in the water. Near the end there will be a couple ramps to go over - on one jump follow Mori's advice to let up on the acceleration so you don't overshoot the next jump.
When the three of you land in his cargo ship the mission will be over, and you won't have to see Mori again!
Unlocks cars from Henrique
After getting down to business with one of the club's patrons, Luis meets up with Tony in the back to talk about his next job. Inside the club, Tony introduces you to Ray Bulgarin who he hopes will buy the club and pull Tony out of his money problems. You'll be hearing more from Mr. Bulgarin later.
When the cutscene ends, drive Tony over to Bahama Mamas. On the way there he'll tell you that your task is to hit on an old friend named Monique - Rocco's orders. Tony won't accompany you since he probably won't help your game very much.
The cutscene will end and you'll have to kill Vic as soon as possible. The security guards outside are obviously alerted at the gunshots, so when you exit the door you'll have a nice indoor gunfight to get through. The gunfight is fairly simple, just remember that your enemies won't be marked on your radar so stay alert. Just know that there will be several men waiting for you on the final stairwell, besides that you'll be fine. The cops will show up outside, just run a couple blocks away before they spot you and the mission will end.
Unlocks mission boss Ray Bulgarin
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The Lost and Damned
The Ballad of Gay Tony
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