Half Life 2

[CowInParachute]

It's been said many times in the past that reading a review of a game is the next best thing to playing it. However, there are a couple of exceptions to the rule. For example, it used to be that reading the manual was the next best thing to playing a game. I remember the days when I'd buy a game from my local Electronics Boutique, ripped apart the cellophane and immediately began reading the manual that accompanied it, despite not being able to play it for another few hours until I got home.

Half Life 2 doesn't have a manual, so it's kind of fucked in that general area.

The second one being that, quite a lot, reading a review of the game is MUCH MORE pleasurable than playing it. For example, some might say that a review of Half Life 2, written by Dostoevsky, Douglas Adams or, indeed, J.K. Rowling might be a much more pleasurable than actually playing the game. However, seeing as the first two are dead and the third one is too busy writing the next god awful book in her series, you'll just have to make do with humble CowInParachute. The bad news is that playing Half Life 2 will be a lot more enjoyable than reading this review. The good news is, however, is that I shouldn't feel bad about it, because Half Life 2 is quite an excellent game. And, in this review, instead of dead Russians, improbability drives or dark wizards and annoying ginger-haired little boys, you'll get to read about how good a game Half Life 2 really is.

Like most good games, a good review should begin at the start. So, to start off this review (not including the digressing I did to begin with), I will tell you how Half Life 2 starts. Logic, once again, prevails. After you get over the original surprise of the menu (there's no background picture - things are actually rendered and animated), you do a couple clickings and before you know it, you're on a train. Nostalgia enters your body en masse, and if you haven't already orgasmed, you probably will when you step off the train into another universe. Almost literally. City 17 is a setting you won't forget. The train station is a beautiful way to introduce a game. People walk around, complaining; the Combine abuse otherwise harmless citizens and a huge screen towers over you, with the somewhat friendly-looking fatherly figure talking down to you.

It's here that Half Life 2's first problems occur. It's later revealed that this bloke is non-other than (SPOILER! SPOILER!) the Administrator from Black Mesa. How were we meant to know this? We weren't. But Gordon is supposed to know this. And this is where Valve's legendary idea of total immersion begins to have its bad points. Had this been a normal game where Gordon is an entirely different person, with different emotions and feelings to the player (although the idea of a perfect game would be that these emotions are the same), then we'd have already entered a cutscene where Gordon goes "Hang on a bloody minute! That's my boss from Black Mesa! The cheeky twat!". But the surprise is later ruined, when it's revealed by another character, quite casually, that the fatherly figure also happens to be the former-administrator, where the player can merely shrug and go "oh". Surprise, shock and possible plot twists are ruined because we simply don't know everything that Gordon knows, despite the fact we should seeing as we are completely immersed in his character.

Having said that, though, the character immersion still works wonders. It'd still be a perfectly good game without it if it weren't for the small fact that it's the sequel to Half Life, and if Gordon was presented in any other way, we'd be more than a tad disapointed. What Valve haven't done, however, is be lazy about it. Characters eyes follow Gordon; their heads follow Gordon; they address Gordon (but sadly, don't DRESS Gordon - a mod proposition, perhaps); they walk towards him, etc. Their animations are almost flawless as they duck to avoid headcrabs, roll their eyes at people they don't like and run about, making hand gestures at each other to tell their buddies where to go and what to do. Take, for example, Alyx and her dad, Eli. Near the beginning of the game, when you meet the two of them together, there's already a bit of childish fancying going on. Cue Eli to do the only fatherly thing and embarrass her a bit in front of Gordon. Not only is it perfectly scripted (Alyx remains defiant, but walks away, avoiding eye contact), but it also makes you feel really manly. There's never a single moment when you feel as if you're unimportant. You're always immersed into your surroundings, not as a visitor as other games make you feel, but rather a part of it.

And a big part of the immersion is the phsyics. And yes, it's as good as you thought it'd be. Unless you've been living under a rock for a while, you already know about the infamous Grav Gun. It is as fun as it looks. There's a lot more to it than smashing boxes around. You can also smash barrels, cinder blocks and pretty much anything else that isn't nailed to the floor. But imagine, if you will, a barricade of zombies slowly making their way towards you, and there you are, armed with only a Grav Gun. You look to your left - zombies. You look to your right - zombies. You look around, and find a paint can. Pick it up, and throw it at them. They're now considerably more colourful than they used to be, but certainly not any further back. You look around once more. A saw blade. Perfect. Pick it up, and ram it through their torsos at high velocity. But now they're still coming at you, and suddenly all the headcrabs have jumped off their mortal hosts and are looking for a new one: you. There's only one thing left for it. You look around, and find an explosive barrel. There's no time to run and get it. You can only try and pick it up from a distance with the Grav Gun. It slowly begins to wobble. It wobbles some more. The zombies are slowly making their way towards you. Finally, the barrel is rolling across the ground. It's close enough to be the subject of a Grav Gun pick up. You turn round, look at all those whining zombies and simply say to yourself "Nyer!". The explosion deafens you, and the ringing in your ears drowns out all the whines and screams. When the dust settles, and you have your hearing back, all you can do is look at the piles of dead zombies and smirk to yourself.

This game has its flaws. Steam is the worst program ever made. Seriously. It's badly coded and always down, and it's an integral part of the game. If it were any other game, we'd hate it. But it's not. It's Half Life 2. The flaws are not nearly enough to outweigh its sheer beauty and genius. Games always go on about how cinematic they are. I assure you, this is as cinematic as it gets. I don't wish to give anything away, so let me just tell you that the ending is beautiful.

Much like the ending of this review.

95%.

[Lynk]

Originally posted by CowInParachute
It's been said many times in the past that reading a review of a game is the next best thing to playing it. However, there are a couple of exceptions to the rule. For example, it used to be that reading the manual was the next best thing to playing a game. I remember the days when I'd buy a game from my local Electronics Boutique, ripped apart the cellophane and immediately began reading the manual that accompanied it, despite not being able to play it for another few hours until I got home.

Half Life 2 doesn't have a manual, so it's kind of fucked in that general area.

The second one being that, quite a lot, reading a review of the game is MUCH MORE pleasurable than playing it. For example, some might say that a review of Half Life 2, written by Dostoevsky, Douglas Adams or, indeed, J.K. Rowling might be a much more pleasurable than actually playing the game. However, seeing as the first two are dead and the third one is too busy writing the next god awful book in her series, you'll just have to make do with humble CowInParachute. The bad news is that playing Half Life 2 will be a lot more enjoyable than reading this review. The good news is, however, is that I shouldn't feel bad about it, because Half Life 2 is quite an excellent game. And, in this review, instead of dead Russians, improbability drives or dark wizards and annoying ginger-haired little boys, you'll get to read about how good a game Half Life 2 really is.

Like most good games, a good review should begin at the start. So, to start off this review (not including the digressing I did to begin with), I will tell you how Half Life 2 starts. Logic, once again, prevails. After you get over the original surprise of the menu (there's no background picture - things are actually rendered and animated), you do a couple clickings and before you know it, you're on a train. Nostalgia enters your body en masse, and if you haven't already orgasmed, you probably will when you step off the train into another universe. Almost literally. City 17 is a setting you won't forget. The train station is a beautiful way to introduce a game. People walk around, complaining; the Combine abuse otherwise harmless citizens and a huge screen towers over you, with the somewhat friendly-looking fatherly figure talking down to you.

It's here that Half Life 2's first problems occur. It's later revealed that this bloke is non-other than (SPOILER! SPOILER!) the Administrator from Black Mesa. How were we meant to know this? We weren't. But Gordon is supposed to know this. And this is where Valve's legendary idea of total immersion begins to have its bad points. Had this been a normal game where Gordon is an entirely different person, with different emotions and feelings to the player (although the idea of a perfect game would be that these emotions are the same), then we'd have already entered a cutscene where Gordon goes "Hang on a bloody minute! That's my boss from Black Mesa! The cheeky twat!". But the surprise is later ruined, when it's revealed by another character, quite casually, that the fatherly figure also happens to be the former-administrator, where the player can merely shrug and go "oh". Surprise, shock and possible plot twists are ruined because we simply don't know everything that Gordon knows, despite the fact we should seeing as we are completely immersed in his character.

Having said that, though, the character immersion still works wonders. It'd still be a perfectly good game without it if it weren't for the small fact that it's the sequel to Half Life, and if Gordon was presented in any other way, we'd be more than a tad disapointed. What Valve haven't done, however, is be lazy about it. Characters eyes follow Gordon; their heads follow Gordon; they address Gordon (but sadly, don't DRESS Gordon - a mod proposition, perhaps); they walk towards him, etc. Their animations are almost flawless as they duck to avoid headcrabs, roll their eyes at people they don't like and run about, making hand gestures at each other to tell their buddies where to go and what to do. Take, for example, Alyx and her dad, Eli. Near the beginning of the game, when you meet the two of them together, there's already a bit of childish fancying going on. Cue Eli to do the only fatherly thing and embarrass her a bit in front of Gordon. Not only is it perfectly scripted (Alyx remains defiant, but walks away, avoiding eye contact), but it also makes you feel really manly. There's never a single moment when you feel as if you're unimportant. You're always immersed into your surroundings, not as a visitor as other games make you feel, but rather a part of it.

And a big part of the immersion is the phsyics. And yes, it's as good as you thought it'd be. Unless you've been living under a rock for a while, you already know about the infamous Grav Gun. It is as fun as it looks. There's a lot more to it than smashing boxes around. You can also smash barrels, cinder blocks and pretty much anything else that isn't nailed to the floor. But imagine, if you will, a barricade of zombies slowly making their way towards you, and there you are, armed with only a Grav Gun. You look to your left - zombies. You look to your right - zombies. You look around, and find a paint can. Pick it up, and throw it at them. They're now considerably more colourful than they used to be, but certainly not any further back. You look around once more. A saw blade. Perfect. Pick it up, and ram it through their torsos at high velocity. But now they're still coming at you, and suddenly all the headcrabs have jumped off their mortal hosts and are looking for a new one: you. There's only one thing left for it. You look around, and find an explosive barrel. There's no time to run and get it. You can only try and pick it up from a distance with the Grav Gun. It slowly begins to wobble. It wobbles some more. The zombies are slowly making their way towards you. Finally, the barrel is rolling across the ground. It's close enough to be the subject of a Grav Gun pick up. You turn round, look at all those whining zombies and simply say to yourself "Nyer!". The explosion deafens you, and the ringing in your ears drowns out all the whines and screams. When the dust settles, and you have your hearing back, all you can do is look at the piles of dead zombies and smirk to yourself.

This game has its flaws. Steam is the worst program ever made. Seriously. It's badly coded and always down, and it's an integral part of the game. If it were any other game, we'd hate it. But it's not. It's Half Life 2. The flaws are not nearly enough to outweigh its sheer beauty and genius. Games always go on about how cinematic they are. I assure you, this is as cinematic as it gets. I don't wish to give anything away, so let me just tell you that the ending is beautiful.

Much like the ending of this review.

95%.

Yeah I agree totally with your review. The manual basically only explained the controls and stuff about steam, they could've had way more than just that. And also for anyone using a 56k (like me ) should be noted that the game can take up to one hour and thirty minutes to install.
Nice points and excellent review, well done

[CowInParachute]

Yeah, that's a good point. It took me an hour and thirty minutes to install on broadband. Twats.

[passage]

Screw steam. I hate it. Whats the point of it anyway? Just for automatic updates?

[Piggus]

And to prevent piracy. But it doesn't really work. :p

[Smashblu]

I thought Steam works pretty well against piracy, no one I know was able to pirate it, and some people I know are the greatest minds in pirating our generation has ever seen. Might as well call them "Black Beard".

Also, another great thing about the Source engine is the possiblity for mods. Seems almost endless to me...

[cheesychese]

i dont know why but everytime i load a online game it freezes and i have to restart my comp everytime so i dunno y it sucks

[aNgeleQue]

Yer, I play Half Life 2. i rocks but i'm not very good at single player. Multiplayer online is great however, its fast paced and exciting in my oppinion. Well worth getting HL2 just for that. If that wasn't enough you also get CS: Source as well wich makes hours of great online play.

I give the game 90% overall I reckon.