@Nite: Doesn't look really realistic. It looks too desaturated and kind of bleak and monotone to be real.
They look nice, sure, but it's still stylized...
@Ash: And I "fucking hate" the drab and cartoony look of regular GTAIV. Also, the problem is exactly in what you say; "People go over the top with it." Thus, it's a question of doing it RIGHT, in moderation. Cause I agree I can't stand over-exposure (or under-exposure for that matter) and overly high contrast, or just flare-effects that poke your eyes out, or even that depth-of-field effect that makes no sense because the computer doesn't know what your real eyes are focusing on and it only makes a blur out of everything (except a small area). Speaking of blur; Motion-blur is a load of nonsense as well, because real vision, although there might be a certain blur, it's never the same as the blur they use in any games. Granted, the blur you could set for ENB/iCE is a nice touch when you keep it really low.
So basically, the best thing is to just leave out all these extra effects and don't overuse the ones you actually use. Then you actually get better graphics than the regular game. What you hate is how people use it, but not so much if you would set it the way you like.