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Old 03-01-2010   #45
dokujitsu
GTA addict since 2001
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: FL
Posts: 327
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@kingcj

No. No no no no no.

I had to laugh, I can't see this working out.

You are the new protagonist, welcome to GTA 5. There are 4 whole countries now rather than one city. You will spend the rest of your life playing this game.

See that island over there? Want to swim there? DENIED! You must do the swimming mission first because you didn't bother learning to swim up until now. Don't forget to learn how to shoot, because you can't do crap until then!

Now that we have the basics down, let's go for a swim to the island off the shore of one of the countries. Once you are there, you find a tribe of people wearing nothing but leaves and living out of straw huts. FUCK THAT! RPG rampage! These people never stood a chance with their spears and shields! The recoil sends you flying back and you are knocked unconscious. Why? Because this game is going to be toooo hard! That's right!

When you come to, you see a woman of the tribe standing alone weeping because you destroyed her tribe. You want to marry her? OF COURSE! Take her to one of the many religious monuments we were able to get into the game without worry. Church, temple, something else? Doesn't matter! And now that you are married, have a child! That's right! Children are now in GTA... as well as animals.

Want to spawn a car, heli, plane, weapons, or health? Too bad! NO MORE CHEATS! That's right, on top of making the game toooo hard, there are no more cheat codes to make the game even remotely fun.

Enjoy the new GTA!

BTW, real cars will never happen.
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