I'm not trying to be a negative nancy here, but this is just other's faults and not yours mostly. The music you used, practically every GTA Glitch/montage on youtube has used it, it is good music, and it fit well with the camera angles, and the speed of it. It's just, I can't get it out th eback of my head that I've heard it in other videos.
It's like the obsession with the Bank Gothic font in films, and Breaking Benjamin's instrumental version of Blow Me Away was in Halo 2... So every machinima/montage had that song.
Another bad point would be that the trailer didn't show any idea of what the story could be about, apart from the title, as I know it's mean to be a teaser, and information is meant to be scarce, I felt it as a little too scarce.
Anyway, the good things, good quality, good editing, good camera angles.
For a summary, just try to use original music and try to give us an idea of the story. Nevertheless, great effort, I enjoyed it, and I look forward to seeing the final product
PS, I am aware of you synopsis, but when it comes to films, I believe that the film should do the talking, is all.