Patrucci
07-02-2009, 11:37 PM
and be by yourself. You wouldn't have any worries, none at all.
That is how my mother lives. I often think she has no heart. I know she has a physical heart, but mentally, no. She has never been a mother figure, she walked out on my family before I was a year old. She went to Vegas, and met up with this older guy. 10 years later the divorced, after moving back here, and he removed her from his will.
She's now shacked up with a janitor, from the mall she works at. I often wish I had a mom, I do have a mother, there is a strong difference.
All I have is my Dad. My brother. They have been my family. We were always close, growing up. Endless summer days, living it up. Remote control monster trucks. My brother always had the bigger one. As we grew older, we started growing apart. My brother and I were always at eachothers throats, my Dad usually didn't witness it because he was having trouble with his second marriage.
I didn't like my stepmother. She was a grand bitch. My Dad was going through health problems, she just bitched at him. I dispised her so much. He had pancreatitis, and was in constant pain. In and out of the hospital. She never took care of us, she would stick us with our Grandparents.
Dad always had health problems, crushed spleen, he has basically no pancreas, he's had hernias, pneumonia which was especially bad, because he had no pancreas. They broke up before he got pneumonia though.
It was Easter Sunday of 2005. I didn't shed a tear. I used to pretend to be asleep at night, and hear them argue. She cheated on him. So fuck her, we didn't need her.
I still visited my biological mother every second weekend. I haven't seen her much, after she split with her husband, the old guy.
My dad took up heavy drinking, he has always been an average drinker, but he started drinking rum. He would go to the liquor store every day, and buy a new bottle. He got sick, this was when he had pneumonia, he wouldn't tell the doctor about it, so he hardly scheduled appointments.
He would have coughing fits. Even to the point where he would pass out from lack of air. After about 4 months of this, he started drinking NyQuil, hoping it would help. Mixing NyQuil, Travel Tabs, and Rum wasn't good.
He took all those to an excsessive point. He started hallucinating. It was winter, everything was cold. I missed a week of school, and spent that entire week in his bedroom. Helping him get through this, trying to detox him. It didn't work. He thought he had a money clip, with 200$ in it. He was searching his room for hours, I kept telling him he didn't have one. He eventually agreed, and went back to bed. At around 3am, I was woken up by the wind.
We were having a snow storm, and the door was wide open. Dad wasn't in his bed. I checked outside, and he was laying on his back in the snow. I immediately got him up. I brought him inside, he hadn't been out for long, but he lost his balance and couldn't get back up. At this point I called an ambulance. He spent over a month in hospital.
He was told to stay off alchohol, otherwise he would do really bad damage. When he got out of the hospital, we spent around 3-4 weeks at our grandparents. He started drinking right away.
After a few months, he claimed the doctor said alcohol wouldn't effect him. He's my Dad, so I believed him.
Roughly a year after the pneumonia incident, he was back in the hospital. He was hallucinating again. This time it was induced by the alcohol. He damaged most of his internal organs, to a really bad extent.
He is still recovering from this. I've almost lost my Dad twice.
To answer my question, No. I would not like to live alone. I don't want sympathy, or attention. I'm not an attention whore like everyone says. I'm just basically saying, keep your family close. You won't have anyone to rely on when they're gone.
That is how my mother lives. I often think she has no heart. I know she has a physical heart, but mentally, no. She has never been a mother figure, she walked out on my family before I was a year old. She went to Vegas, and met up with this older guy. 10 years later the divorced, after moving back here, and he removed her from his will.
She's now shacked up with a janitor, from the mall she works at. I often wish I had a mom, I do have a mother, there is a strong difference.
All I have is my Dad. My brother. They have been my family. We were always close, growing up. Endless summer days, living it up. Remote control monster trucks. My brother always had the bigger one. As we grew older, we started growing apart. My brother and I were always at eachothers throats, my Dad usually didn't witness it because he was having trouble with his second marriage.
I didn't like my stepmother. She was a grand bitch. My Dad was going through health problems, she just bitched at him. I dispised her so much. He had pancreatitis, and was in constant pain. In and out of the hospital. She never took care of us, she would stick us with our Grandparents.
Dad always had health problems, crushed spleen, he has basically no pancreas, he's had hernias, pneumonia which was especially bad, because he had no pancreas. They broke up before he got pneumonia though.
It was Easter Sunday of 2005. I didn't shed a tear. I used to pretend to be asleep at night, and hear them argue. She cheated on him. So fuck her, we didn't need her.
I still visited my biological mother every second weekend. I haven't seen her much, after she split with her husband, the old guy.
My dad took up heavy drinking, he has always been an average drinker, but he started drinking rum. He would go to the liquor store every day, and buy a new bottle. He got sick, this was when he had pneumonia, he wouldn't tell the doctor about it, so he hardly scheduled appointments.
He would have coughing fits. Even to the point where he would pass out from lack of air. After about 4 months of this, he started drinking NyQuil, hoping it would help. Mixing NyQuil, Travel Tabs, and Rum wasn't good.
He took all those to an excsessive point. He started hallucinating. It was winter, everything was cold. I missed a week of school, and spent that entire week in his bedroom. Helping him get through this, trying to detox him. It didn't work. He thought he had a money clip, with 200$ in it. He was searching his room for hours, I kept telling him he didn't have one. He eventually agreed, and went back to bed. At around 3am, I was woken up by the wind.
We were having a snow storm, and the door was wide open. Dad wasn't in his bed. I checked outside, and he was laying on his back in the snow. I immediately got him up. I brought him inside, he hadn't been out for long, but he lost his balance and couldn't get back up. At this point I called an ambulance. He spent over a month in hospital.
He was told to stay off alchohol, otherwise he would do really bad damage. When he got out of the hospital, we spent around 3-4 weeks at our grandparents. He started drinking right away.
After a few months, he claimed the doctor said alcohol wouldn't effect him. He's my Dad, so I believed him.
Roughly a year after the pneumonia incident, he was back in the hospital. He was hallucinating again. This time it was induced by the alcohol. He damaged most of his internal organs, to a really bad extent.
He is still recovering from this. I've almost lost my Dad twice.
To answer my question, No. I would not like to live alone. I don't want sympathy, or attention. I'm not an attention whore like everyone says. I'm just basically saying, keep your family close. You won't have anyone to rely on when they're gone.